new year. two words.
sheer gift.
sheer-
adjective
1. nothing other than; unmitigated.
synonyms: utter complete, absolute, total, pure, downright, out-and-out, thorough.
gift-
noun
1. a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present.
synonyms: present handout donation, offering, bestowal, bonus, award, endownment
2. a natural ability or talent
synonyms: talent, flair, apitude, facility, knack, bent, ability, expertise, capacity, capability
i divorced new year resolutions last year. new year's resolutions reek of should's and would's and i'd rather live a life free of that flavor of things. i replaced resolutions with a theme...last year's theme added so much life to me i couldn't help but come up with another. It took me awhile to alight upon an idea i wanted to carry with me for such a long journey through spring and summer and fall and back to winter again. and then i read romans 4 and i knew.
romans 4
If you’re a hard worker and do a good job, you deserve your pay; we don’t call your wages a gift. But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it’s something only God can do, and you trust him to do it—you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked—well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God. Sheer gift.
wow.
i love gifts! i want to look at life this year, good days and bad, as a sheer gift. on winter mornings (even in florida), you can see your breath. something normally invisible is temporarily frozen and able to be viewed.
i want to see each breath this year...and i want learn to view it as a gift.
the truth is,
i don't deserve another minute.
i'm not entitled to another year.
this year i want to imagine all the moments wrapped up in paper and string...just for me. i want to unwrap the exciting packages and the dull ones and be grateful for both... i want to look for and find sheer gifts all over my life--hidden in unexpected places and holding surprising contents. i want to live this next year with open hands, awaiting and expecting anything and everything He sends my way. i want to look at 2014 like a child on christmas morning...with awe and wonder in my eyes...
I want to drag this concept into every area of my life...even the spiritual. this year, i want to live in the sheer gift of His grace. i want to make sure i am not attempting to add to His gift by "trying harder". i want to make sure i realize that this job is too big for me. when someone gives an amazing gift, it's very human to want to pay them back in some way...and i often make that mistake in how i relate to the God who spoke the mountains into existence. how prideful. how insulting. i want to approach my Father this year with a heart of humility and gratefulness...ever aware of the gifts He gives and how i can never deserve them. i want to practice living in this sheer gift ALL. YEAR. LONG.
the word gift has two meanings--it can refer to a present or an ability. in years past, i've been guilty of never using the gifts God has given to me. in fact i've hidden them--to keep them safe from harm, i've put them up on a high and dusty shelf...so nothing can be broken. this year i want to unwrap my gifts and atually use them.
i want to make.
i want to write.
i want to draw.
i want to create.
i want to drag these unused gifts out of my soul's attic. i don't want to be the daughter that buried her talents.
i've lived too long in shame for the ways i'm made.
i've lived too long in fear.
i've lived way too long without flying from my open cage.
doing the things i love scares me. it feels so intimate and exhilarating. it's...terrifying to put it all out there. but this year? i want to dust off my brushes and paint on my life's canvas. i want to use up all the blank paper in my house to write and sketch and create. i want to put my ideas to work. i'm tired of comparing my gifts or asking Him for an exchange. i'm tired of valuing His creation in this world but devaluing it in myself. this year i'm going to be kind to myself as i make my way through this unknown terrain. i'm not going to demand perfection of me. i'm going to be brave with my gifts and graceful with myself along the way.
along with learning to use my gifts, in 2014 i want to be a giver.
no reasons.
no paybacks.
no credit taken.
no strings attached.
i want to be a giver this year. i have been given so much i want to take this year to give of my time, my resources and talents. i want to be intentional about looking for these opportunities wherever i go. i want this year to be marked by a extreme generosity. i want to offer my best giving to God this year. i want to mirror the Great Giver with a little giving of my own. i want to be on the hunt this year for opportunities to share.
i want to spend 2014 admiring the sheer gift of life,
basking in the sheer gift of grace,
daring to use the gifts given to me,
and
last of all,
mirroring the Giver of every good thing.
new year. two words.
sheer gift.
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