{mud caked moments}

since moving to florida i've seen a certain kinda freedom flourish in my husband.  i think it must be the combination of the salty air and the magic of moving.  there is something about moving far away from normal that gives a person the freedom to be different.  sometimes when you stay in one place for awhile you get used to everyone around you telling you who you are and as homey as home is, it can be a harsh environment for change.  it seems to me when everything is new it gives birth to even more newness--like a spring of the soul.  don't get me wrong...it's not all sunny.  there is lots of rain but it's a season of growth just the same.  it's a fresh start in your head and heart...if nothing else.

this move has been such an adventure for our family!  that spirit of adventure has taken hold of eric and i and we've made a habit of dropping everything and going to the beach and driving around looking for never-before-seen things.  it's like we have eyes for the everyday again and when everything is an adventure it turns thursday nights into muddy messes:)

today, thursday,  was jaeda's first day o summer and it was rainy...and has been all week.  ugh.  or as rhett would say, "that's boo." this afternoon, eric called me from work and said,

"hey, when i get home have the kiddos dressed in clothes they can get messy in...i've been staring out my window at this muddy field all day and i just kinda wanna go play in it.  if this rain keeps up we are going to find a muddy field to jump in!"

 i was super excited and a bit surprised...these wild ideas are usually mine!  i kinda love messes and was super excited for something fun to do on another boring rainy day, so as soon as eric got home from work we loaded our curious kids up and went on a search for a muddy field and pond size puddles.

:)  we haven't had this much fun together in a looooong time.  we parked at an empty park, turned the radio up and left the windows down and played in the warm summer rain.  we belly flopped and puddle stomped...we slid and skid and wrestled and rolled.  it. was. awesome.

at one point the girl turned to me giggling and said, "oh my gosh, you are a MESS!  you have mud all over your face...it kinda looks like poop!"

i laughed.

her comment was purely ridiculous...because that girl was covered in a lovely mixture of sand, dirt, grass and rainwater...

and then i heard that still small voice.  i knew it was that spirit voice that sneaks even into these silly seconds and (if you are listening) makes teachable moments out of mud caked memories.

somewhere inside i heard a whisper.  "and that is how insanely ridiculous it sounds to me when you look at another child of mine in judgement".

what? whoa.

i blinked and looked at my filthy daughter.  moments before she had literally been rolling in the mud...and then she got up and laughed at how dirty i was...

this is how the Father feels about my judgement of others.  this is how silly it sounds to Him when i, in my sin filthy state...have the audacity to turn to another dirty soul and say,

"oh, wow, now you're a mess!"

hmmmmmmm....

i went back to puddle jumping with the kiddos.  we splished and splashed until we'd all had enough.  we laid towels on the carseats, opened the windows and turned up the music and sang all the way home.  we all fought over the showers and made some dinner and as i tucked my clean kids in their beds on the first day of summer i was thankful.

thankful for summer rain, for an adventurous husband and for teachable mud caked moments with my Father.

snowstorms & symphonies

lately i've been thinking about how many things are going on at once...from the microscopic to the cosmic & you and me in between.  


think about it...


there are whole worlds we don't see underground, in space, down the street, in every house, underfoot, in the corner of my room, in my body, under the sea,  all of which exist in the same moment.  to a girl who struggles with multi tasking--my Father's ability to balance/plan/handle it all may be the most awe inspiring thing about Him!  the whole world, seen and unseen, is churning with LIFE and it is God, my Father, that is the stirrer of it all.  in psalms david calls Him:


...Earth Tamer, Ocean Pourer, Mountain Maker, Hill Dresser, Muzzler of sea storm and wave crash...
found in psalm 65:2-8 the message


i was texting my friend sara this morning...and she informed me that her early morning flight to cali was delayed by a snowstorm in denver.  


in that moment i could see it all so clearly--how frustrated i would be if that was me...how--if it were me--i would shrink the snowstorm to be an annoyance instead of a His wonderful, white, song. 


i have been to a few symphonies in my day (thanks mom).  at the time i was just a kid (with a touch of a.d.d.) and needless to say, i didn't really enjoy the experience.  looking back now--the one thing i always found fascinating was the conductor.  i could scarcely tear my eyes from him.  his whole body was passionately involved in song.  how did he know when each instrument was supposed to come in???  i was enchanted with how he controlled the explosion of sound--pushing and pulling the song louder and softer with his hands.  from drums to tubas, clarinets to flutes--all the instruments played their parts and waited on his hands to move...


for some reason, when i got sara's text about her flight being delayed, all i could see was my Father directing that snowstorm like a Divine Conductor--making the snow dance to his rhythm and cadence.  all i could see for a split second was how all of life is a symphony singing to His tune--how each note waits on His hands to move.  the snow, sara's life, mine, these brown boxes i've been packing...it was all very much like a scene from disney's fantasia...boxes, brooms, snowstorms & me and you--everything in this world moving to His music.


thinking about just how many worlds He is simultaneously conducting makes each snowstorm in my life look more like a symphony and less like an annoyance.  somehow He's got everything singing His praises.  

and it's up to us to join the chorus.

what a beautiful snapshot of Himself He gave me this morning.  call me crazy but i treasure these little pictures He paints in my head... 

BFF's & box-o-date-night

once you've been friends with someone for awhile--it's fun to talk first impressions.

at first, my best friend lyndsey thought i was an african american single mother (i do get pretty tan in the summer;).

her husband paul, dubbed my eric, 'sir frown alot' (his words--not mine) and was scared to approach him at church.

the moment i heard lyndsey's voice on my answering machine asking us to come to her "small group" i was convinced she was a crazy church lady...

fast forward 8 years...

together we've celebrated so many birthdays, christmases (even our "friend anniversaries") not to mention the birth of 3 of our kiddos. today the perry family is an extension of my own.  i've never met two more generous and open-hearted individuals.  if you don't know them--you should.  if you can't tell yet--i'm their biggest fan:)  we are sweatpants-wearing, late-night-taco-bell-running, chinese-food sharing, two-slices-of-pie-kinda-friends.  we've been each other's first call with good news...and midnight call when things were crazy.  for years we lived just 6 doors down...then we lived together, then just a 10 minute drive apart...and now we live 1200 miles away.  

i've found the very best things even distance can't touch.  i have a handful of friendships from my hometown that i know will always be the same...the perry's are one of them.  they are...well...i just think everyone should have friends like them.  friends to have fun with, to unwind with, to celebrate with, mourn with, fight with, make up with--friends to walk with. no comparisons or competitions (unless we are talking a foot race or a throwing competition--then IT'S ON!!)  but seriously, we've walked down some pretty treacherous stretches of road together.  there were times where it seemed too hard...and yet right there was where we found grace fit just perfectly.

as i journey through this life i'm discovering that i've been spoiled--friendships like this are rare.

more rare than i knew.

 i miss them (like crazy).  

we recieved a surprise package from the perry clan last week.  naturally we ripped it open right away!  inside we found  something so remarkable.

 it was an at home date night--all boxed up and ready to go!  paul and lynz know that eric and i haven't gotten much face time since moving away (turns out there is a severe shortage of babysitters when you don't know anyone).  so they put together a box o date night...complete with instructions for us and the kiddos.

 we even had homework to complete before our date :)

 the date box was jam packed with fun stuff for the kiddos to keep themselves busy.  boy did their eyes widen when they saw all the junk food momma linny had packed for them!!!

 jaeda had strict instructions to take care of rhett...to make their dinner and pop them popcorn...while they watched the brand NEW MOVIE the perry's had sent!  she loved the responsibility.  daddy paul and momma linny know her too well...

 meanwhile, eric and i were given an envelope with money for dinner and a few connecting questions to ask and answer under the florida stars...i think the list went something like:

• share something that you appreciate about your spouse
• share something new about yourself with your spouse
• share one of your hopes for the future
• share one thing that puzzles you about your spouse
• share a complaint with a request

after weeks and months of kiddos and kiddos and getting settled and kiddos and of eric having to do homework after the kiddos went to bed, it was so lovely to hear from his heart...

we reconnected over some yummy sushi...(although it's no moonlight)

and just like that--the perry's and their little brown box brought out the best in us.  we walked away from our little date night feeling so refreshed.  their thoughtful gift made us feel oh so loved--even from a thousand miles away!

after our date there was one more envelope for jaeda's eyes only...it was an envelope with money for the "sitter".  she was thrilled...to say the least!

gosh, it was such a fun night.  we've decided we're gonna send them a similar box soon...and start a new tradition with these friends of ours...
(love you perry's!!!)

if you don't have friends like these perry people--you should find you some.  inviting people into your life can be tough...but man, it sure does make the ride worthwhile...

take a chance--invest in friends.

salad spinning!

i should probably be doing something constructive with my time and energy.  i should be packing.  i should be emailing.  instead i've made a mess with my kiddos and a salad spinner:)

we invented our own artsy game this afternoon and if you're sitting around with your salad spinner--bored to death, with nothing to do...here's what we suggest:

first--gather some random supplies like:

• 6 colors of paint (kinda thin works better...we added water)

• 6 different kinds of paper

• alphabet stickers or markers (or both)

• a dice (oversized is most fun)

• a dictionary or theasarus (or any book for that matter)

• and lastly--a salad spinner (i didn't have one but picked up a cheapy at ikea juuuust for this lil project)

okay, after you've gathered your supplies, number the paper choices, #1-6 and number the paint colors #1-6. get creative (we used some random vintage numbers i got in my stocking this year but you could tear up peices of paper...whatever you got.)

okay so, here's how you play!  a roll of the dice always decides what you will do next--starting with type of paper you get to use.  i tried to choose papers of all different kinds to make it more fun.  so for instance, in this case, if you rolled a 1 you'd get to use the cool white bumpy paper and so on...

once you've rolled to decide which paper to use, next you roll to decide how many colors you get to add to the salad spinner when creating your piece.  THEN you roll to decide which specific colors to add.  

so if you roll a 1 and the green paint is labeled 1 you get a green dollop on the paper...if you roll a 5 and the white paint is labeled 5 you get to place a dollop of white on the paper (in the salad spinner).  i'm the world's worst explainer...i hope this is making sense!

after all this rolling of the dice...which makes things super exciting and suspenseful--place the paper in the salad spinner...we trimmed ours a bit so it would fit properly.  we taped it  down on the backside so it wouldn't slide around when the spinning got crazy!

here comes the fun part!  once you've rolled to choose the paper and rolled to choose how many colors and rolled to choose which colors--you put the lid back on the salad spinner and spin away!!!

the kiddos loved this part!  heck, i did too!  it was fun to see just how fast we could get it going and how fast we could change directions!

wait...don't stop here...it gets better.  then you get to open the lid to reveal the first step of your masterpiece!  

it was way fun to see what the salad spinner does to different papers and different consistencies of paint...your older kids will think so too...now your younger kids--they'll just want to spin spin spin away!

you could stop the lil game here but we didn't want to...we wanted to add WORDS.  so we rolled the dice one last time to decide which page of the book our magic art word would come from.

obviously the dice didn't go up to page 1415 like our theasarus did, so we just rolled for the last number of the page.  so if you roll a 6 on the dice you'd  flip the book open to the first page that ends in 6 and stop there....(example pg 1216.)  THEN you get to chose a word...ANY word you like from that page.  maybe you like the way it looks or sounds or perhaps the meaning.  it doesn't matter...it's your word.  you  get to choose.  this part is soooo fun to me...'specially with wonderboy.  he chose, blast off, belt and numeric. so wonderfully random!  jaeda chose creamy, creative and awesome.  i love how she put some thought and her personality into her choices...also beautiful!

so, here are our finished products!  i can't tell you how much fun we had making these mini masterpieces!!

rhett's 1st

rhett's 2nd (loved that he chose numeric as his "word".  because the piece is numeric since it all depended on the number of a dice:)

rhett's 3rd!

jae's 1st

jae's 2nd

jae's 3rd

and of course i had to do one too!  agh!!!  we had so much fun with this lil artsy game:)  you have to try it or something like it and show us what you come up with!

p.s. this is what the salad spinner looked like afterwards...kinda cool, right?!?

the first time

let's play a little game called...

when was the last time you did something for the first time?

firsts can be exciting...they can draw us up and out of our routines and things. they can also be hard and embarrassing.  sometimes they can be fun, sometimes frustrating...sometimes scary or amazing.  sometimes all of this at once!  helen keller once said, "life is an adventure or it's nothing at all."  

so what's yours gonna be?  

find a first to tackle today.  it's easy.  it's free.  take it all in...stop to wonder at the weird parts all the while enjoying the lovely.

several firsts that could fit into your day:

read a book you don't think you'll like

eat indian food

sing on your way to work/school

give something special to you away

compliment a stranger

send flowers anonymously to someone who'll never guess

dance in your car

celebrate your unbirthday (with a cake and everything)

talk to the postman

start a tradition

collect raindrops

leave a post it note on the mirror in the public bathroom saying something like "you are fabulous"

turn up the music

leave some change in the vending machine or in the little crappy toy machine at the front of walmart

use this post as an excuse to do something out of your comfort zone.  and if someone laughs...tell em there's this crazy girl on the internet that dared you to do it.

happy tuesday.

the monday mornings...

one day, far away--i just know i'm gonna look back and wish i could step into a mundane monday morning when my kiddos were 10 and 4.

 i'll wish i could wake up to the janurary florida sun in my face and sounds of my raccoon rhett scrounging around in the kitchen for something he knows he's not supposed to eat in the morning.

someday...i'll wish i had that blonde haired blue eyed girl o mine crawl into my bed for a few snuggles before the wonderboy comes to crash the party and steal the covers and turn our quiet morning into a wwf smackdown.

someday...i know i'll miss jae's freckled little girl face and the way she wrinkles her nose when she smiles.  oh and that crazy crazy laugh of hers...someday when she's too cool to get the giggles--i guess i'll miss that too.

one day when wonderboy has hair on his face i'll wish i had kissed him on his smooth little cheeks more  often.

someday i'll wish i could listen to his incessant chatter. 

someday i'll probably even wish that i could hear those two hoodlums fight.  i'll wish that they were close enough for it to be my turn to tuck them in.

someday, i'll want this morning back...but today...today feels like i'm just doing it all over again.

sometimes (especially on mondays) it's hard for me to get going.

because today, on that freckled 10 year old face...just under that wrinkled lil nose--is a pink mouth with a dimple that has nothing but negative things to say lately.

today...that wonderboy will wear his mortal momma out.  he'll fight and scream about all life's little un-fun things--and it's up to me to teach him different.

today there is a stack of boxes as tall as me in my garage that need to be packed with all my junk.

today there is a certain little girl's room that appears to be carpetless because someone started cleaning out her desk and quit the hopeless job right in the middle.

today there are emails and phone calls and lots of grown up stuff to take care of....and really on this mundane monday...i'd much rather stay in bed.

so friends...this is what got me outta bed this morning:

homemade chai tea latte
my friend, the sun, promising another yellow day
3 bananas that will make that negative lil girl of mine some banana pudding (just because)
that kissable spot on wonderboy's neck that probably needs some monday morning snuggles
thoughts of decorating my new nest (we are moving in 2 weeks!)
ideas of park hopping and swing flying with my boy
four little squat jars from ikea that beg for purpose
the ocean...so looking forward to the next time i can dig my toes in the sand and stick my nose in the salty air.
a dirty house--and how good it'll feel to get 'er clean again
the salad spinner i bought for a fun paint project this week
a few fun phonecalls to kc friends that i didn't get to talk to over the weekend

most days it's easy to find things to jump outta bed for.  but my mondays seem to start a lil slower...and i have to scavenge to find some things to be thankful for.  today, my monday morning scavenger hunt unearthed some treasures to pull me outta bed and back to life.  i'd love to know what gets you guys outta bed on these mundane mornings...

my lilac story

{picture by blue ampersand photography}

i've always had this thing with lilacs.  there is something about those brown winter sticks turning to fragrant  purple blooms--they never fail to remind me of great possibilities--year after year.  the very shade of purple makes me wonder just how much red and blue God mixed together to make them.  they smell like eden and oh how they sing of spring...


yesterday i was catching up with an old dear friend of mine--who has the best lilac bushes EVER!  her lilacs are like trees!  they are massive and wonderful...absolutely laden with purple and white blooms.  we were just chatting about things and spring and then she said,


"lex, you will enjoy this.  I had to cut my lilacs--all but one--to the ground.  they were in such bad shape.  it will take them a couple of years but they will be lovely for years to come.  i did that to one of them when we first moved in but was chicken to do it to all of them in case it killed them and all of the books were fibbing.  the one i cut back is now BEAUTIFUL."


i was breathless.  i felt like she was telling me my own story.  ever since we talked i've been thinking about those lilacs.  they were seriously taller than me...and to an untrained eye (me), they were perfect.  but my friend is an amazing gardener and she could see that they weren't what they were supposed to be.  they were okay but in their wild beauty they were getting too out of control for their health.  so she cut them back.  not a trim.  not even a buzzcut but she pruned them back to THE GROUND.  they won't bloom for years...but when they do...i should be able to smell them from here...


i feel like this florida move was the Master gardener's "cutting me back".  in the last 5 years i've experienced growth like no other time in my life.  i've gone through alot...and with His help came out better than before...more alive...a little more like Him.  but if i'm honest, i guess i was growing a little wild.  life was busy-out -of -control-topsy-turvy with kids and brighton road and family and church and friends and scribble studios.  to undiscerning eye (like mine) things looked amazing but He knew...He knew some pruning was in order.  not just a trim.  not even a buzz...but a cutting me back to the ground so i could grow back healthier in time.


this time of pruning is oh so bittersweet.  i LOVE the adventure...the ocean mist...the sunshine.  i LOVE the time with my kiddos...and it makes me sad to see how much i've missed while living life at a break neck speed.  i don't miss the pace of my kc life but i miss the people.  my people. and i miss the dreams...


i walked away from some pretty incredible dreams when i moved away from kc. some wild and wonderful dreams like scribble studios.  i had my own space and place to encourage creativity and inspire wonder into the hearts of today's technologically overloaded children.  i made this place with my own two hands...i was in love with it. absolutely intoxicated with the ideas and possibilities of just how far it could fly.  BUT...it was like my 3rd child.  it took all my time and energy.  i was up there as often as i could be...doing the work of 3 people.  and let's face it...i'm no business person...i just had lots of creativity to contribute. but scribble was my happy place...and i was finally using my gifts and living life to the full!!!  sitting and sketching in that crazy attic space was my eden.  and i walked away...


i walked away from my photography business that was just beginning to bloom and grow.  the growth kept me working...ALOT.  away from kids...ALOT.  but it was supporting my family so how could i just stop???  i couldn't just walk away...so He took me away.


my kc schedule made my head hurt.  all the internal expectations from friends and family.  i am a blessed girl.  i have too many kc girlfriends, couple friends and people i just love to spend time with!  over achiever that i was, i tried to do it all...there was no pressure from anyone but myself to keep up all my friendships--it was something i wanted to do.  squeezing them all in meant squeezing my sweet lil family out...and so...He pruned that back too.


in thinking about these lilacs and their pruning...i couldn't help but think there were a few places in the Bible where it talks about Him being a gardener...so i did a lil internet word search and found quite a few obvious spots--He started everything off in a garden for goodness sake!  He tells me to look at the wildflowers...He says He is the vine...He went to the garden to pray and He was first spotted after resurection--in a garden.  He likens Himself to a patient gardener in luke and various other places in the old testement.  it seems He knows a thing or two about planting and harvesting and growing fruit and things of that nature...so i'm assuming He knows what He's doing right now...with me.  i sure am glad He's patient...


after hearing my friend denise's lilac story...i did a little research on lilacs and found out that they prefer full sun (like me) and it made me smile.  here i am, like the lilac, starting over.  no friends, no business, no scribble studios.  i'm back to the basics.  family and God...and i'm hoping i grow up healthier this time--knowing when to say yes and when to say no--honoring only my Father and Gardener with my growth.


i told my lilac pruning friend, denise to keep me posted on the those beauties and let me know how they do this spring...and next--unless they die...that would suck.  she said she would and--like a good friend--said if they died she'd lie and just get new ones without telling me;)


so i guess it's me and the lilacs, racing towards the sun...