2. any major transformation or alteration.
3. a transformation brought about by the sea.
this weekend stirred my soul. i have lots of time to think lately...i'm doing little but sitting and editing all the wonderful photos i took on my latest trip to kansas city. i'm listening to good music and spending lots of minutes talking to my Creator. our talks go something like me begging for direction and Him being quiet. (sigh) rhett is getting big...my momma duties are slowly and steadily waning. when he's in school...then what? photography full time? back to school full time? these are my questions and all i've heard in return is
{silence}.
but sometime this weekend a sea change has occured. a change in the deep waters of my soul and because of this i've decided to do a few things. things new and scary to me. a few bucket list items and few things that before this sea change i never dreamed i'd ever want to do...let alone actually invite into my life. this sea change has brought about 3 specific things to the surface.
1. i'm learning to swim.
i'm athletic. it's not like i'm gonna drown when i jump in the deep end but i've always been the girl that said, "nah, i just don't like to swim". so i'd tan poolside. it's so unlike me to sit on the side but in this case i would just take a dip when i got hot. i went in the ocean til i felt a little creeped out and then i'd start swimming for shore. my swim avoidance is deep seeded. some scary abuse related things happened to me in swimming pools as a kid and i guess i've held onto that and made it part of who i am and...i'm done with that now. i'm learning to swim. front stroke, back stroke--all of it. i still need to find a teacher...but figure He'll bring one along. my goal is ocean swimming without that scrambly feeling inside. i'm oddly excited to jump in a pool and feel like "i got this". who knows, maybe there is some surfing in my future;)
2. starting tomorrow i'm getting up every morning at 6:30am to meet God and the ocean.
i am not a morning person. until now i could think of nothing on God's green earth that could get me up at that evil hour. until i met the ocean...and now it's only 10 minutes from my front door. starting tomorrow i'm waking up before my family, donning my workout clothes, grabbing my Bible and maybe a journal and heading for the door. i'm hoping to read and journal for the first bit and then go for a run/walk on the beach to begin each day. it sounds glorious to me. i'm so excited to start! i want to invite beauty into my everyday life...aaaaand a little self disipline. any one who knows me knows that this is no small undertaking...
3. last but not least...i'm taking guitar lessons.
this might seem silly to you. but i want to invite new things into my life. i want to be able to take music with me everywhere i go. i want to be able to take a guitar along to the beach and worship my Creator one day. an ipod or begging someone to come along to play music for me just won't cut it anymore. i love music. it comes pretty easy to me. it's gonna happen. music lessons aren't just for my kiddos. (although i'm hoping to teach jae every day when i get home from my lessons.) so i'm on the hunt for a cheap guitar...i think i have someone to teach me already...
in the scope of things...these 3 things are miniscule. but they are big to me. i don't wanna be scared. i wanna invite beauty into my life. and i wanna do new things. i still don't know what i'm going to do next year when rhett goes to school. still asking Him daily but i'm taking a few steps away from me and towards Him and i'm excited to see what He will do...
this is my sea change.
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