as i was stirring my little red pot of chicken for burritos this afternoon, i was graced with a flash back of about 7 years ago.
i caught a glimpse of me in my kitchen trying to decide between spaghetti, something frozen or eating out (again).
i couldn't hide my smile at the memory. i couldn't fight the joy that overwhelmed me. i couldn't help but thank God for just how far He's brought me and that He even had a plan for my tastebuds.
see, when God says He gives LIFE...and life ABUNDANTLY...He means it. not just in the ways you expect--but in ways you couldn't imagine. i knew i was signing up for Him to change my heart. i had no idea He wanted to reimagine the food i put in my mouth too. the wildness and mystery of our God is what i love most about Him. i can't even guess at what He's gonna do next...i'm just learning to hold on tight...it's gonna be amazing.
growing up, we didn't eat out much. we mostly ate at home. my mom cooked the same 5 meals in rotation...spaghetti, tuna casserole, fish sticks, chicken with rice and pizza. i didn't have any complaints about these meals. in fact...i loved em. but i had no idea what i was missing...
<enter eric.> eric eats everything. eric likes everything (except for cooked cabbage). i was so lucky to meet the love of my life at 12...(crazy, i know) but he loved me through my awkward years so i had to hang on:) eric (and his family) took me out to eat more times than i'd ever been in my entire life. we went for mexican, we went for italian, we went for burgers and we went for pizza. everywhere we went...i ordered chicken fingers and fries. he'd try to talk me out of it. he'd beg me to try a bite of his mannicotti or his white pizza or his fajitas or his burger with an egg on top. but i loved my chicken fingers and i was loyal to those little guys. i didn't think i was missing out at all...
truth is, i grew up in a pretty fearful family....and that fear transferred over even to food. my mom was a picky eater and only cooked what she liked and warned us about all that other nasty food. and so...i bought in. my culinary world was small and safe.
when i was about 15 i started to wear down a bit...eric convinced me to try some different things...and i did. including chinese food....i'd never had it before. now i can't imagine living without that wonderful flavored MSG! those crab rangoon...that fried rice and spicy chicken! i didn't love it at first but i warmed up to it...and then i couldn't get enough. slowly, slowly i started trying things...but nothing too crazy. to this day eric laughs at my adventurous eating (and takes full credit for it).
when eric and i got married and had kiddos...cooking was a "thing". i was the tomboy of the family and had never been taught to cook much of anything but spaghetti. i also had an aversion to cooking for a man. it felt a bit primitive to me. i hated the societal expectation, i hated the loneliness of the kitchen and vulnerability of making something for someone....all of that aside...i didn't have the foggiest idea of how to actually cook. what do people even eat? i knew i'd had my fill of tuna casserole and fish sticks but...what else do you make?
eric was super sensitive to my craziness about meal preparation and he never expected me to cook. in fact, (i'm ashamed to admit this but) i wouldn't even let him leave me in the kitchen alone...for real. he either helped me cook or sat and talked to me as i stirred my something frozen or strained my spaghetti noodles. i can't say enough about his patience with me in this area. i was sensitive to feeling like someones servant...he thanked me and made me feel like a queen for making simple pasta with red sauce out of the jar (and still does).
life took some crazy turns about that time in our lives and our whole world kinda turned upside down. (that's the tidy short story) God, so mercifully, caught us and set us upright again....and somewhere in there awakened my taste for all His world had to offer. somewhere in the upheaval i found freedom...fear no longer had a place in my decision making. oddly, even my food choices. there is freedom in facing your worst fears...and walking through them....because if you can make it through that...what else do you have to fear? certainly not shrimp scampi, salad with fruit in it, burgers with guacamole on them and yucca fries dipped in coconut sauce!
somehow, i became a culinary adventurer. i tried everything set in front of me. some i liked. some i didn't. some i LOVED! but the fear was gone. food was just exciting. food began to be an experience for me. trying new restaurants with friends and discovering new favorites was like my new hobby! i fell in love with foods i had never before tasted. i was amazed at all i had missed out on for so long.
one problem...i still couldn't cook.
somewhere in the crazy shuffle of life i figured out some of the issues i had with cooking. cooking for someone was alot like...love. and the problem was, lexi didn't love well. there was something about offering something to someone that seemed raw to me. it all seemed unguarded and risky. well...my new life was one big risk and God's love fed me and maybe...just maybe...cooking something...offering up myself, was possible if He was by my side. the idea of giving away just a taste of the love He had lavished upon me was a step into grace. so...i started cooking.
baking came more naturally to me. desserts are easy to please....no one is counting on you and i'm pretty good at making things pretty. so i startedwith desserts. muffins, pies, cakes, fried cinnamon tortilla chips. i called my friends for their favorite recipes and...
i know it might sound silly but God really used 3 of my good friends to teach me how to cook.
lyndsey taught me what it looked like to feed your family every night. night after night she cooks and cooks and cooks...rarely the same meal. she meal plans each week and tries new and scary things all the time...some times it is wonderful and sometimes her family agrees it's nothing they want to make again...and either way...it's okay. i know that's simple but...for me it was big. i still call lynz with cooking questions. there are a few of her meals i make that i literally call her every time i make them...for the temperature...or an ingredient ..or just to tell her how excited i am to make her recipe! her kitchen is the most wonderful place to be. i love to sit on her counters and chat. oh, another thing? you haven't had thanksgiving dinner until you've had lyndsey's.
courtney also taught me how to cook. she is my healthy friend. she taught me about agave nectar and other sugar substitutes. she taught me about balanced meal planning and to shop around the outside of the grocery store for the fresh stuff and skip the middle as much as you can. she graduated me from cooking out of boxes to breaking out a cutting board and making my own. i don't buy canned anything because of her. because of her i know that the best produce is fresh or frozen. she taught me how to read a label and any time i need to know the very BEST recipe for something simple...i ask court because i know she has made it 5 different ways and has settled on the winner.
my last cooking hero is sara. her food belongs in magazines. she is one of the most creative cooks EVER! we joke that i think in colors and she dreams in scent and taste. she's in love with produce. seriously...i think she talks to it as it ripens on her counter:) all my favorite recipes are hers. she creates crazy food combinations and blows me away consistently she cooks everything from scratch...her seafood lasagna, pink and yellow muffins and margarita cookies are 3 of my very favorite things i've ever tasted. every night her husband has the joys of tasting 5 star food...sara just started an amazing blog called a patchwork picnic here. make her food. it will never disappoint.
http://apatchworkpicnic.blogspot.com/
today...i meal plan and scan pinterest for new and fun things to try. i have bulging recipe folders filled with all my favorites, some of sara's and lynz' and court's. i make dinner by myself most nights...which is big for me:) and i like it. sometimes i love it. i like making colorful things...i like making things from scratch. i like making eric's favorites and what i like most...is having people over and feeding them. it's crazy just how far He's brought me!!!
anymore, eric and i love looking for interesting and local places to eat. most nights we can't help but try the craziest thing on the menu:) it makes me laugh at just how little that looks like the old "me"!!! i can't tell you how long it's been since i had chicken fingers!
there is a reason psalm says,
taste and see that the Lord is good.
He's so good....He even has a plan for your tastebuds!
at least He did for mine...isn't that just crazy?!?
